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JOKE-LAND
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    Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 1:44pm
just thought that I would try to balance out some of the drama with a little humor. post 'em if you got'em.
 
 
Scotch?


   
 On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
 The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
 The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
 Then the liquor store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher  lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.
 She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?"
"No," said the little boy.........
.........."it's a PUPPY!!"
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Posts: 2355 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Zellot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 4:49pm
oh **** lol
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Jill goes home one night with a guy she meets at the clubs. He is tall, super hot and seems different than most other guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but to notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom shelf are small teddy bears all lined up next to each other. The middle have medium sized bears all lined up beside each other. And finally the top shelf have all large teddy bears lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is very sentimental and sweet and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she wants to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blow job, lets him pound the sh1t outta her and even takes it up the ass!! In the Morning, she slowly gets dressed, smiles at him and asks " How was that?" He nods and says, "Not to fvckin bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the middle shelf"  :)

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Posts: -19563 		Post Options Post Options   Quote YINYANG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 5:21pm
Originally posted by Sephiroth_v7

Jill goes home one nights with a guy she meets at the clubs. He is tall, super hot and seems different than most other guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but to nitice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom shelf are small teddy bears all lined up next to each other. The middle have medium sized bears all lined up beside each other. And finally the top shelf have all large teddy bears lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is very sentimental and sweet and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she wants to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blow job, lets him pound the **** outta her and even takes it up the ass!! In the Morning, she slowly gets dressed, smiles at him and asks " How was that?" He nods and says, "Not to fvckin bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the middle shelf"  :)
 
LMFAO that **** is better than cab fare hahaha


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Posts: 2974 		Post Options Post Options   Quote SP61gTSupra Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 5:28pm
A guy comes running into his house with a sheep under his arm, kicks the bedroom door open to where his wife is and says, "This is the the pig I f uck when you have a headache"  To which his wife replys, "That's a sheep"!.  The husband replys, "I wasn't talking to you"!
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Posts: 843 		Post Options Post Options   Quote N0SF3RATU Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 5:29pm
Originally posted by Sephiroth_v7

Jill goes home one nights with a guy she meets at the clubs. He is tall, super hot and seems different than most other guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but to nitice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom shelf are small teddy bears all lined up next to each other. The middle have medium sized bears all lined up beside each other. And finally the top shelf have all large teddy bears lined up beside each other. She begins to think that he is very sentimental and sweet and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she wants to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blow job, lets him pound the **** outta her and even takes it up the ass!! In the Morning, she slowly gets dressed, smiles at him and asks " How was that?" He nods and says, "Not to fvckin bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the middle shelf"  :)
Bwahahahahahaha Clap


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Posts: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Quote Sephiroth_V7 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 5:34pm
Originally posted by SP61gTSupra

A guy comes running into his house with a sheep under his arm, kicks the bedroom door open to where his wife is and says, "This is the the pig I f uck when you have a headache"  To which his wife replys, "That's a sheep"!.  The husband replys, "I wasn't talking to you"!
 
LMAO Clap

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Guy comes running home screaming to his girlfriend, "Oh my God honey, I just won the lottery, hurry, pack your bags"  His girlfriend says "Should I pack for warm or for cold"?  He says, "Doesn't matter. as long as your out by tomorrow"!
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Posts: 843 		Post Options Post Options   Quote N0SF3RATU Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2011 at 5:42pm
Originally posted by SP61gTSupra

Guy comes running home screaming to his girlfriend, "Oh my God honey, I just won the lottery, hurry, pack your bags"  His girlfriend says "Should I pack for warm or for cold"?  He says, "Doesn't matter. as long as your out by tomorrow"!
LOLLOLLOL


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Why are Jews noses soo big?  Because air is free.
Hear about the Ethiopian that  fell into a Crocodile pit?  Yeah, he ate 3 before they pulled him out!
Did you hear about the gay choir boy?  He choked on his first hymn.
 
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Posts: 126 		Post Options Post Options   Quote hieuy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2011 at 1:35pm
time for some yo mama jokes.
 
yo MAMA so STUPID, she put lipstick on her forehead.. to MAKE UP her mind.
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Your mamma's soo ugly, when she walks through the woods, Bigfoot takes pictures of her.
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Your mamma's like a gun, two c0cks and she's loaded.

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Originally posted by Sephiroth_v7

Your mamma's like a gun, two c0cks and she's loaded.

Nice, never heard before.

Your momma's soo stupid, when she goes to the mind reader, she gets half off!
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Your mamma's soo stupid, I saw her yelling into an envelope, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "Sending a voicemail".
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Playboy Classic:
 
Hooker walks into a pawn shop with diamond earrings
Hooker: "I got these earrings for doing someone a "favour"
Pawn Shop Owner: "Maam i hate to break it to ya but these are fake"
Hooker: "Ive been r a p e d!"


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Posts: 677 		Post Options Post Options   Quote summ3rblink Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2011 at 3:04am
Shaker gets a critical shot while flying the raptor. He jumps out but doesn't manage to open his parachute. While he's falling he sees that there's a guy flying up fast towards him from the ground with no vehicle at all. When they meet mid air, Shaker asks "Hey, do you btw know how to use a parachute?". The man that is now recognized as Summerblink answers "No sorry, but do you know how to use a redeemer?"
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