The "GODLIKE NOOBS of 360" Ultimate Hall of Fame

Originally posted by Sheen in 240p

   Hello and welcome to the Godlike Noobs of 360 Ultimate Hall of Fame. If you couldn't tell by the title this is a list compiled of the worst players that have ever touched Unreal Tournament 3 over the nearly four years its been out.Grab a snack and get comfy because this is a big read and your in for a treat if you wish to continue Please note that if you feature on this list I implore you to open your disc tray and break your copy of UT3 immediately. If you feel the need to defend yourself and argue that you shouldnt be on this list, dont. For this will only further prove that you deserve to be on this list and also being on this list in a lot of ways is an honor and you should be thankful that although you have no skill or anything to show for all the time spent on this game, you can still hold your head up high because you truly have become legends in the sparse UT3 360 community and I think I can speak for the rest of the community that you will never be forgotten. Thank you.

Alright now to the list 

#5 (FL)AcK BEAST (Dueler)- AcK BEAST although is not the same breed of noob as the other four on this list for he actually is pretty good at the game. However he still belongs here due to his desperate exploitative game behaviour and hilarious quibs. AcK Beast if you did'nt know is an African American supposedly stationed in Japan and has the worst host on UT3 period. But persists to host(often on "Survivor" scrub) even though he know he is nearly impossible to hit nevermind beat on his host especially because whenever he is in jeopardy of losing a battle or the shield belt he pulls out the flak or another equally homo host weapon to add to that he almost exclusively plays sentinel the biggest host map. I do say he is nearly impossible to beat because I have personally witnessed get his ass handed to him on his host on numerous occasions at which point he usually takes a couple month vacation in COD land. So hes a cheap player but what really put Ack BEAST over the edge is the hilarious things that comes out of this kids mouth. With quotes like "If you think about it, the Bio is the most skilled weapon." and "Host flak feels the same as off host." He also asks the same questions without fail everytime he joins my party which include "Whats, your sensitivity at." "Who do you think is better? Paw or Phantaci" (and other variations of the same question)

and "I think I've got worst, do you think I got worse." My response "No you've always sucked just when you play off host its easier to tell."

#4 the darbonator-(dueler) the darbonator although had a short run on the 360 has become legendary for those who crossed paths with him. I dont know a whole lot about him for I was rarely in his parties. What I do know is that he never played off host and solely used primary link to kill with (which he would disagree with). Like AcK BEAST he wasn't a terrible player just again a hilariously desperate one. If you sent him him a message calling him cheap for using that overpowered noob gun or told him in a party he would remain adamant that he used every weapon to get the kill on you. Which to a certain extent was true because he would miss with every weapon then give up and link gun you. The best part about the darbonator though was he never seemed to be able to win no matter how hard he tried "I do anything to win." The darbonator mysteriously went MIA after the release of Phantaci's first montage which he was featured in on numerous occasions. So if you here some one say you got "darbonated" it is a reference to the Link Legend himself.

#3 COLDGAZE-(CTF) One-Hundred and Fifty-Five Thousand deaths in CTF and counting (yes that is three zeros after 155) first in the world on the CTF leaderboards has never stopped playing in nearly 4 years and still doesnt not know how to wall jump or use any weapon other than flak and bio. He is the least skilled player I have ever seen in any game getting a kill on him is a mere matter of pressing RT he does the rest. I have nothing against the guy personally but not putting him up on this list would be criminal. The kid has more translocator kills than shocks. The kid is terrible Nuff said.

#2 Diabolus Z- (1v1 DM, for known uneducated reasons) DIABOLUS Z, THE DIABETIC DESTROYER,THE UNDEFEATED, UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF RAGE QUITTING. THE LEADER OF THE POWER RAGERS NAY AN ULTIMATE MEGA-RAGER-ZORD. If you dont know who Diabolus Z is you truly have missed out on the overall UT3 experience. If you want more info on him look up DEATH MACHINE's thread on him where you can see first hand some of his ragequit voice messages he has become so famous for. Basically Diabolus would host a 1/2 deathmatch most commonly on defiance. And as soon as you would start losing he would ragequit and say you were using cheat codes, super armor, were turning HIS auto aim completely off and was known to make false accusations as well as form alliances with players who were not his friend. He rarely joined parties just sent messages but I did have the chance to get him alone to try to get to the root his problems. He spilled his guts and his life story and his glory days on Unreal Championship (where there were apparently no modded xboxs) to me over the period of about 2 hrs. Deep down this guy is just a big helpless child you is crying out for respect and takes out his problems with the world out on players who are better than him at UT and life. Diabolus Z if your reading this grow up being a half blind diabetic satanist heavy metal tool who makes ridiculous boasts about never losing simply is not working out for you. I guess its impossible to lose if you never finish a game really big accomplishment.

I guess your probably wondering who on Gateways green earth could top the Host advantage Flak whore from Japan, the darbonator himself, the lowest skill player in UT history and the ultimate Power Rager? Well im sure this will not sure this will not surprise many of the dedicated UT players and Iamgaming members because this grown man is the definition of NOOB.

#1 UC SYZYGY UC-(CTF) I could literally go on all day about this guy he truly is the epitome of a bad player. UC SYZYGY UC as you probably all know is not good at the game at all although he has been playing for a solid 3 years. He almost always hosts and team stacks with his team of much higher skill cronies and still often manage to lose in pubs. On his host he is known to use nothing but the link and stinger witht he occasional flak. He is one of the worst dodgers in the game and is known to run into spawn rockets without fail (the only kid I ever got a single enemy monster kill  on reflection) and has been known to get off the game conviently because hes tired or to play YU-GI-OH with his adult son. Now this alone would be all fine there are many players who play cheap like "Sizzle" (come on your a grown man not even snoop talks like that any more)but what really seperates SYZYGY from the other noobs is the amount of **** he talks which he can never back up. I think the kid is going for a world record for the most time spent and most irrelevant posts on a website which is pointless. He also is the biggest complainer in the history of gaming I mean talk about nerd rage. If any of you have you have been in his parties you know what im talking about. But of course when your in his parties he's all buddy buddy with you but when you gone he's SCREAMING GOD DAMN SPAM MONKEY SUNNAVA FRYING PAN SANDWICH! Its also mentionable that he owns a PS3 but refuses to go play on dedicated host because in doing so he himself gets to see truly how bad he is when people arent lagging on his host and he cant exploit it. UC SYZYGY UC because I know you will read this at one point I want you to know that we love you deep down and the advice to break your UT3 disc does not apply to you for without you people on ut3 would simply have nothing to talk about and soon players would become bored raping noobs who know they are bad and take the loss like grown men. Dont stop raging you have touched the hearts of so many and have truly entertain myself and the rest of the ctf community with your hilarious antics thank you.

Im sorry if there are any typos but because this is such a long post I did not want to re read this epic piece. And if any of you readers think I have missed someone or would like to add a player from the PS3 I encourage you as long as you give a description why they are so bad on this post we back up what we say (...SYZYGY) and as long as you dont disagree with my claim that SYZYGY is biggest NOOB because he is.And if SYZYGY wants to prove me wrong he will hop on a duel server where I or another lucky player will crush him so he can post how duel is for noobs LOL. Anyway thanks for reading this overly long post tell your friends and keep pwning my friends whatever game you play


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