Sick jokes... |
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GohansSoul
Ultra Member Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Online Status: Offline Posts: 343 |
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Topic: Sick jokes... Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 8:18am |
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*** your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job." |
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GohansSoul
Ultra Member Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Online Status: Offline Posts: 343 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 8:22am |
A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her. They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma." The husband is skeptical, but they a**ure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines... no pulse... no heart rate. The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."
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GohansSoul
Ultra Member Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Online Status: Offline Posts: 343 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 8:47am |
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I a**ume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come walking in here at six o'clock in the morning?" "There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
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QwEsT
AdReNaLiNe RuSh Joined: 09 May 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1083 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 9:46am |
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PSN: qwest4victory A-R_l2eQwEsT
XBL: ViTuHMiN C |
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Cloudy_Serendipity
Team PcX Joined: 21 May 2009 Location: UntidiedKuntdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 1511 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 12:21pm |
lol Deathwish all good shi!t
Like the oral sex one best though |
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All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream
Map Hosting: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/6luhe8b1pj52y/Cloudy's%20Files |
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 12:37pm |
Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life." Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?" The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead." |
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 12:40pm |
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new
baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long
before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at
least 14."
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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GohansSoul
Ultra Member Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Online Status: Offline Posts: 343 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 12:49pm |
hey SP61gTSupra the 1st 1 u used is old but a cla**ic and NEVER gets old lol but the 2nd 1 was already used on this tread...... heres a other 1 folks......A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?" His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?" |
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 1:02pm |
Whats the best part about sex with a five year old boy?
Watching him break down on the witness stand What's the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Ferarri? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea. whats red, bubbling and scratching at the window?? a baby in the microwave! |
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 1:04pm |
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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GohansSoul
Ultra Member Joined: 18 Jun 2009 Location: North Carolina Online Status: Offline Posts: 343 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 1:07pm |
ya i thought ur name was a lil 2 long lol but ur new post has alot of messed up but funny jokes lol
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 1:13pm |
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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SP61gTSupra
Team TRU Splash with me! Joined: 29 Nov 2008 Location: Greenville Online Status: Offline Posts: 2974 |
Post Options Quote Reply Posted: 19 Jul 2009 at 1:16pm |
A little girl is watching her mum getting changed to go out for the evening.
"What are they?" she asked. "Those are mummy's breasts," the mother replied. "Will I get those?" came the next question. "When you're a little older," answered the girl's mother. "And what is that?" the little girl asked. "That's mummy's vagina," the mother answered, a little embarra**ed. "When will I get that?" "That will happen at around the same time you get your breasts. Now run along and let mummy change." The little girl ran off into the next room where her father was getting changed out of his work clothes to relax for the evening. "What's that thing, daddy?" asked the little girl. "That's daddy's penis," he answered. "When will I get one of those?" the little girl asked. "In about an hour." |
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Pepsi puppies get more puppy pussy.
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